When fate knocks...

...you know you're in trouble.

Now I don't usually live my life based on fate or destiny or anything of the sort. But lately I've come to the decision that someone, somwhere out there is trying to tell me something. This is not one simple isolated incident either. There are various different "signs" (if you can call them that) leading me in various directions right now. I must say it's darn right confusing.

The first incident happened while watching tv last week. Sure it's the start of a new year and with each passing year, the media tries to shove down everyone throats how people need to lose weight and get in shape. Naturally I was watching TLC and there was this show called "The 750 Pound Man," and if that isn't a wake-up call, I don't know what is. Obviously this aired for these purposes, to envoke the public into getting back into shape but really it just makes you feel worse. Worst of all, I watched it twice that night. The weird thing is that I sometimes feel how he looks. I'm no where as bad as the gentleman on the show, but it was just mind-boggling as to how people can put a lot of stress on the body.

It's one thing to see such a thing on the television, but to see it in person is something different. I remember a few times at the hospital seeing people in similiar conditions. That sure modivates you, but really how long does such modivation last? Eventually you just push those thoughts out of your mind and that's it. Maybe that's just me, 'cause apparently it hasn't helped me move any faster towards the itty-bitty true me. But enough about that.

As for the sign there, I watched that show that night feeling like crap. The next day at work I kept having these mental images of that gentleman from the show from the previous night and it wasn't pleasant. This was also the day when a larger amount of overweight-obese patients came in for x-rays. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones but this felt like a sign to me. Not only had I watched a show, but all the next day I was reminded of it and how I don't want that kind of life. I don't want a relationship, a family or anything until I can get this at a point where I'm satisfied. It's hard to believe it was 7 years ago last when I had the comfort in feeling good about everything. I want to have those feelings again. Doesn't sound like a sign to outsiders, but to me it felt like I was constantly being reminded of it all that next day.

The next sign I kept getting has to do with deciding on continuing my education by applying for the M.R.I. course. That was my original intention by taking x-ray, 5/6 years ago, but plans change. After 2 years, I wasn't in the mood to continue. In hindsight it may have been better to jump straight into it, but I wouldn't have been able to do a lot of the stuff I did accomplish in this past year and a bit. The major "signs" is that I keep seeing and hearing news stories about MRI, and keep seeing one of the teachers from the college. It's all concidence I'm sure, but why now?

I'm sure I'm forgetting some "signs" but I'm tired and gross feeling and just want to go to bed, so I shall.


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