Huge Dilemma

One big dilemma happening. I'm just not in the mood to study and yet I'm nowhere near ready for this massive, life altering exam. I mean c'mon it's my final exam in this blood program (5 days left, woo!). Actually I just found out that on our last day we get to leave right after the lunch they are having for us, whoo hoo! Maybe they'll pay us to stay for the rest of the day..hmmm, ok maybe not. But I digress.

This is always a problem with me. I took my study today and I didn't start studying until about 6pm, but that's because I had to physically remove myself from any distractions and bury myself in the millions of text-books I have to know by heart. It's exhausting. I have a general idea of where I need to put my main focus into but still, it's all do dry and long winded. Lots of numbers, figures, terms, positions, etc.. to know by heart. I'm going to go insane before I write the national. Don't get me wrong I've been studying lately, just not as much as I would like. Tons of charts made, it's just hard trying to figure out exactly what they want. Studying for this is almost like trying to study all your high school courses for one exam. You have to try and figure out if there will be more English than Biology or maybe more History than both of those. *deep breathe...relax*

Ok I'm off my rant. At least I know it's exam time because I'm turning into Mrs. Clean. I straightened up my brother's room only because I couldn't stand looking at the pigsty every time I walked down the hall. Sure closing the door could have done the trick, but there were no guarantees. Many little things annoy me during this time of year. It's crazy and I know I sound it but it's true. Many little annoyances or family's quirks are just pissing me off immensely. I'm keeping it all quiet mind you (v.g.). I just wish this wasn't as stressful. I keep telling myself I will do fine (and I know I will) I'm just a worrywart, plain and simple. Just lots of pressure that's all.

Today was our last day before the new bunch of students arrive. It's all very surreal. It's honestly feels like just yesterday I was worried about what the hospital had to offer for the next year and yet here I am at the end and I survived. At times, barely but I made it. Just a few days left and I'll be finished. I won't be going there every day any more. That night little safety blanket we had to fall back on is going to taken away from us, just like a mother takes her child's blanket away when they reach a certain age. Don't get me wrong, it's all exciting and change is good but it's hard to believe I'm almost finished. I'll actually have a title to put with my name, not just student or whatever the case. Tres crazy.

Any hoo, maybe if I go now I can fit in another half hour of studying. Later days..

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{..::current..mood::..} tired, stressed and not in the mood to study, but i must
{..::currently..reading::..} it is says x-ray in it, i'm probably reading it
{..::currently..watching::..} nothing
{..::currently..listening::..} my dad's EXTREMELY loud tv, god he's going DEAF
{..::days.until.finished::..} 5 (well 2 and a half working, and 2 for exam/review)
{..::days.until.CAMRT::..} lost count... but a few days over 5 weeks

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