{Topic}: There is only one normalcy I seek...and forever more I'll be denied from it...

Another day come and gone from my meaningless existance. A little harsh eh? One word for you..deal!... Ok so maybe I'm not in the bestest of moods, but it's not like I'm in the worstest of moods (I think I need to stop using -est). I'm a little bummed that's for sure. Just when everything seems to be going fairly well, lemons come and hit me in the head knocking me out. So I ask, how do I make lemonade with the all the lemons thrown at me, if i'm unconscious? Not making sense, good. I'm choosing to be that way.

Obviously the doctor's appointment didn't quite go as planned or hoped. Good news no surgery and my gallbladder is normal. Bad news everything else is screwy. First probably more adhesions that at times twist and close the bowel for a while, but going in and "fixing" it will cause more and so it's not worth it. Not only could I need a colostomy after that but who knows what else could go wrong. Second of all, my liver seems to be the problem. Spleen's enlarged as well. So I had a whole bunch of blood work done. Ok there is another pissy thing about yesterday. First I didn't expect anything like that to be told to, second I didn't even think I'd need bloodwork, thirdly the line to get blood took me like an hour to get through. I know they're busy and have lots of patients but it was still nuts. There were few seats, I was standing in the hall, barely able to hear the lab tech call your number, just totally annoyed me. They need a new area, larger waiting room. But then again there have been times I've seen no one there waiting, and yet this time it was packed. So I don't know quite how to feel right now. Somewhere between thinking what-did-i-do-wrong-in-my-life-to-deserve-this, why me? and wanting to curl up into a ball hiding from civilisation. Worst thing about it all, is another waiting list I get added to. It took me almost 5 months to see this specialist and I'm already looking at waiting a year to see the liver specialist. I'm really only being sent there because they want those specialists to make sure the liver is a-ok. *sigh* Where's my normalcy?

Well I guess that's all for now, nothing much more to say. But I shall insert a quiz..


you are Winnie the Pooh!! you care about others and
have alot of friends... but you have to stop
eating man!!


What cartoon character are you?
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Surprise, surprise, I'm Winnie the Pooh. I've always said we were twins, it's like looking directly into a mirror lol.


{current mood} A bit depressed and exhausted
{currently reading} "Into the Woods" by V.C. Andrews still...
{currently watching} "The Simpsons" so funny...yumm popcorn chicken

New post day.... everyone rejoice. mwwwwwwhahahaha

{TOPIC}: The nutty day called today

Well I just had one busy weekend, unforunately it was mostly spent in the bathroom. Isn't that the best way to start your holidays? lol. Ok maybe not, but I had nothing else to do and most of my friends were out of town already any ways.

The whole bathroom fiasco was interesting. This is all started one day when I asked my mom if she was ever going paint over the weird wall in there. Of course she said "yes, but whenever I get around to it." Well wouldn't you know it, I say I'm doing my brother's room this summer (a year after I actually said I would mind you) and she takes it upon herself to do the bathroom too. That's pretty much it. She was set on painting it green, but I talked her out of it, thankfully. See a long time ago most of our house was peach and green. The peach was eventually all removed but the green became hunter green throughout the house. Needless to say, the majority of the house consists of green accents (living rooms, one bathroom, kitchen, master bedroom) so to make another room green kind of grossed me out. The floor is still green but we weren't recovering the floor. I was lucky enough to talk her into a warm colour and we choose a taupe-y colour(kind of like a mocha color, maybe a bit paler). It pays off to complain about the color choice, lol.

Oh and my mom decided to try and kill me today. She finally put up the shelf in my room and I decided to put my buffy dvds in it. I questioned the shelf's ability to hold all the dvds, but she assured me it was fine. Well wouldn't you know it, the shelf fell and broke my cd holders. If it had held up longer and fell during the night I would have been killed because it all would have struck me in the end. So I'm convinced she's out to get me. lol

So here's the weird story of the day. So most of my day consisted of working on my homepage and well wouldn't you know it late in the evening the power surges and I lose part of my work. Well I call it a night with all that stuff because it's just heart breaking to know I lost some of my images because I didn't think saving would matter, I'd only be away for a few minutes. Of course the power surges and *poof* all my images are gone. Nothing major with the power surge though. Our water pressure decreased but we didn't think much of it. Any ways I decided to go out shopping with my mom because we needed a few things. As we're driving closer to the store we notice the traffic lights aren't working in areas and the further we go there is no power any where. Well we went to the store any ways because my mom works at that particular store and we ended up being trapped there because they needed any available worker to help with put aways. So we rushed around the store putting away produce and dairy and all the perishables, needless to say it was crazy. Who would have thought going out for containers and butter would lead to un-shopping and leaving with nothing. But I did try a carmel oreo twist mcflurry. It was quite good, now I'm completely wired, not good when I have to be up early tomorrow.

So tomorrow is the doctor's appointment. I'm starting to get really nervous about it now. I mean what if there is a mechanical problem and I'll need surgery, I certainly can't afford to do that with school. I guess I won't borrow trouble, but I still can't help to feel apprehensive and nervous. Any hoo it's off to bed for me (or at least try to sleep).

{current mood} Tired, yet wired at the same time mixed with a little nervousness...
{currently reading} "Into the Woods" by V.C. Andrews
{currently watching} Ruthless People (hey it's the only half decent thing on the tv)

Ok now I'm just pissed off. This is like the fourth time I've tried to type up my entry. The first time was the big one though. I'd sat here and typed for almost an hour. Gosh, I don't even know how much I had but I know I had a lot (more than my last post).I clicked post and poof it was all gone, just like that. I had the feeling I should have copy'd it first but no, I was too eager to just post it. *grumble, grumble* But I digress...

Today was my last day at the hospital today. I was quite sad about it actually. It hasn't fully hit me yet, but it will starting Monday. Funny how before I went there I was dreading the whole thing and by the middle of it, I was wishing I didn't have to leave the hospital for my basesite. Isn't it ironic? But it was pretty good. Yesterday they bought in a cake for us and both my clinical buddy and I were given cards. It was really sweet. So we had our little farewell and good luck party. This staff was just way to good to us. We were very forunate to have been placed here. They're hoping we'll come and work there, once we're done the program. That would be so weird. We'd go from being students and needing their help to being their equal. So strange to think of it that way. But I'm really glad we did this. I fully enjoyed my time there and had a hell of a good time. I learnt a lot and really grew in these 5 weeks. But I digress...again.

As for the summer thing, we've narrowed it down to going to a casino in the States for a couple days. We haven't chosen which one will go to yet, but at least we have a good idea now. A tech there at the hospital, was telling me bout a cool one called Mystic Lake, but we'll see. So at least it's for sure decided we're going there and it will be a hotel! Then again it does depend on how well or how lousy my doctor's appointment goes on Tuesday *shudder*.

Ok so now it's time for the funny coffee break story section of the ranting. I'll start with yesterday's hiliarious conversation dealing with male birth control pills and beer. So we somehow got to talking about birth control and eventually to how there is now a birth control pill for men. First of all that's just hiliarious but now that means women are the only ones who can be in control. Now you get into the whole mess of what if she wants a baby and he doesn't so he takes his pill or vica-versa. Then one of the techs (mind you there were 10 people here in this conversation) said it won't really work because men really aren't responsible enough to remember to take the pill regularly and that's why women do now. Another tech said, "I bet if it was put in beer, men would definitely remember to take it." This then began to snowball into a whole strange conversation. I am warning you we are scary people (must be all that time we spend in the dark during the day in small quarters). Ok so imagine this, birth control in beer (just the concept) - so naturally just add a free t-shirt and of course the men will get that beer. At this point, we were coming up with slogans for the t-shirts. The was "Hi! I'm taking such-and-such pill..." on the front and on the back "Come and get me, baby!". There was also "Now you can see me coming and going" Get it? Coming and going? Ok, don't say I didn't warn you. This goes along with the thought of "x-rays techs do it in the dark." LOL Luckily we were the only ones in the cafeteria at this time. We were all just sitting there crying from all the laughter. I'm sure I've forgotten more of the story but that was pretty much the jist of it. So next time you're having a beer guys, imagine the possibilities of birth control beer and how many more women you could get by wearing that free bonus t-shirt... (hehe).

Now it is time for today's final coffee break story. I need to start at the beginning. During the first few weeks we were at the hospital the weather was really crappy out, so it didn't make working all that hard. But then last week the sun made it's appearance and has been out for almost a week. It hasn't been too hot or too cold, just comfortable actually. So any ways my clincial buddy and I were joking about how on our last day (today) the sun would go away and it would rain. Of course this symbolized how it would be miserable and rainy for the whole 3 weeks we had off, only because the sun had been shining for the past week when we were stuck indoors all day. So during coffee break we were all kind of in la-la-land and I commented on how we jinx'd ourselves with the weather because it was all crappy and cloudy out. So we were being teased about that by the techs. (yes yes I actually have a point and a funny one too). I said it's going to rain, just as we're leaving, because someone hates us and wants us indoors for our holidays lol. So Shirley said "Yeah, watch there'll be monsoon's and you'll be stuck here. Actually no, tornado's will touch down here and then you'll really be stuck." lol she was just teasing us of course. Then another tech said it would probably snow, and with that in mind he said it would snow until there was "snow upto your necks." Being the cheeky bugger I am, I said "Yeah, well that isn't hard to do for me. That's me every winter actually." Everyone just starting laughing at that. It was hiliarious. He suggested that I should probably get one of those bright neon orange flags that are attached to bicycles and attach it to myself in the winter, so people can find me. Now I'll never be able to look at those flags the same ever again. Oh well it was all too funny. Shirley was teasing him about picking on my being "vertically challenged." But like I've always said, "if you can't laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at?" It was pretty funny. We were also discussing how they'll miss us next week and told us we're more than welcome to come back any time during our holidays and help out if we want. LOL. I told them riiiiiiiiiiiight, so if I see the big light in the sky with my name on it, I know it's them needing my help and letting me know via the batman light style. It was pretty funny. Coffee was just so funny today. We were all laughing just so hard at everything that was said. It must have been all the sugar in our systems or lack of sleep or maybe we're all just a little crazy (I'm leaning a little more towards that one). *sighs* I'm going to miss coffee breaks. Oh well maybe I'll have more interesting stories again when school starts back up - then again I am back with the creator of the nickname Wheezy....

So I realized something today. I realized that I'm missing something in my life, just some sort of void that needs to be filled. I hate feeling like that. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's just not a good feeling. I feel like people are closing me out. Makes me wonder if I said or did something that pissed them off unintentionally. I don't know, I just feel like that right now. I truly hate this feeling. Hopefully I'll be able to fill this void during my holidays if not, I dunno man. Maybe I'm just worried about my test results. I mean what if there is more surgery needed. I don't think I could handle another surgery right now. Actually I know I couldn't, but could I live with this sort of pain any longer? It's not as bad as it used to be but still there are moments when I eat something and the pain is just completely excrutiating. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what sort of cards the game of life will deal me. *sigh* now I feel totally mopey :( I guess it doesn't help that I watched "Titanic" today, or a part of it. I really should watch those movies, they're starting to affect me. As far as I'm concerned, the movie ends when Rose and Jack are in the car, all hot and sweaty. They live happily ever after and the boat never sank. Ok? Deal? Fine, but I prefer my ending to the actual movie and real-life. Every time I watch that movie it really makes me think of how much I'm afraid of the unknown and how I never want to go on a cruise. I don't care that, that sort of thing wouldn't really happen nowadays, I just don't care. All I can envision is the boat going down like the titanic, with me on it. Only exception there is I wouldn't have a Jack, it'd just be me. Maybe Sassy would be my Jack, at the rate I'm going. LOL.

But I digress... Feeling...So....Very.... tired....must....stop....typing....brain too...tried...to function.... Later.... dayz....

ACK!!! I just totally lost everything I just typed on here :( So I'll just have to write it all out again another day... Now I'm totally bummed. This is what you get when you don't copy it before you click post. I knew I should have and didn't. GRR!!! Technology!!

First I will start with my yay news. Looks like we're not camping! YAY!! *jumps up and down* yay .... Ok enough of that. My dad decided (notice how dad seemed to have the power there....hmmm) that he wouldn't be able to handle the heat and needed air conditioning. lol I'm sorry but that was just too priceless in my opinion. See it didn't matter that my mom and I already stated that fact, but until he thought of it, it wasn't valid. Men! seesh! You know what they say though, can't live with but can't live without them. But I digress... This means hotel (sweet!) and we're going to try and stay at a casino down there and also spend some time in Grand Forks. Yay, shopping!! Looking forward to all that, but sadly it means it also depends on what the news on my test results come back *grumble, grumble* but I digress...again.

I was thinking today (yes be scared, be very scared that I was thinking - I know I am), and I thought I should post some of the funny quotes mentionned while at work becuase they are just too funny to be forgotten.

One day during coffee break we were discussing reality television shows and how they're soon going to be running out of ideas. Namely Survivor, so we decided to think up a few destinations that perhaps the powers to be haven't considered. First there was Iraq, where teams go there and they're main goal to find Sadamn (sp? who cares) and pretty much survive the country there. Reward challenges consist of being rewarded with weapons and stuff like that. Not laughing? Well we all thought it to be funny, there was more that made it funny but my mind is failing me now. Another place we thought of was Churchill, Manitoba. Imagine this, you take 16 Americans and put them there. Imagine the chaos, lol. The only problem we imagined in that case is not enough skin - so that automatically put x's against that destination, sadly. LOL Okay there was something said that was extremely funny we were all crying from laughter but I can't quite remember. All I know is I'm glad we're not on television but doing our day jobs lol.

Then another day at coffee someone had the paper and was looking at the horoscopes and he said he was Aires and another said she was too. They exchanged dates and stuff and then he said he was on the cusp. So in my infinite wisdom piped up, hey I'm on the cusp too, with the exception I'm on the cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius thus being a Capriquarius. He then said that's the one with horns and the other like fish or something - see where I'm going yet? No? Well let me tell you. Well from that moment on I was teased as to be a "horny fish." Sadly he wasn't the only one thinking that, another worker was too but she decided to bite her tongue lol. It was rather funny, although aquarius is really water bearer, it was still funny.

Ok I really did have a point to this post, but now it escapes me (it must be the blonde streaks in my hair - but shh!). Later...

Red:
Aren't you the romantic? Life is poetic. If you
don't already, write poetry, you're good at it.

Made by
Sara


What color do you see the world in?
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ok now I'm really bored....


What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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Ok so I was bored and decided to do an online quiz. LOL. So here are the angelic results....


LOVE is your chinese symbol!


What Chinese Symbol Are You?
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So it's that time again. Today was another strange day in my life. The hospital is still not too busy, which really sucks. On another note, it's entertaining, very entertaining at some times. lol Sadly I only have one week left now. I'm really going to miss the techs there :( Today they were joking around about trying to keep the other student and I for next year instead of our base sights. It was funny because one of the techs was offering another tech's house to us, because she's already having a ton of people coming in and out of the house. Ok so maybe you just had to be there....I digress

Ok so here's the deal. Last Sunday was the annual family golf tournament, yes *hangs head in shame* my family actually meets once a year to golf in lieu of an annual family reunion. Sadly I wasn't as crappy as I expected. I even did eight-teen holes instead of the nine I planned on doing. My team even came in fourth place, which is hiliarious seeing how half the team had never really golfed before. But I digress....

Oh and the so-called vacation I'm going on, most likely cancelled. GRRR Ok so that maybe is my fault (not purposely and yet purposely at the same time). First the vacation was simply a choice between Edmonton/Calgary (camping) and Minneapolis (hotel). Well then my doctor's appointment gets moved to a week later, completely altering our vacation because that's the only week my mom can take off. Doctor's office doesn't answer there phone so I'm stuck with that appointment. So it stands now that we lose 4 days out of the 13 supposed vacation days. Stupid doctor! Ok so that means Calgary is out. So now my dad's big brain plan is going to Minneapolis. Remember hotel? Now that's out, and we're supposed to take the trailer and camp there. I specifically was told hotel and now that's totally changed, argh! I don't like the trailer we all get miserable any ways, so why bother, but I'm going to lose anyways. I had the huge fight with my parents about that last night. Last time I checked it ended with, "fine we won't go any where." lol parents they're way nuttier than any other species. So I'll just have to wait and see...

Ok enough ranting for now... Later...

So the time has come. I've finally jumped back into the world of websites and such. All of my friends were doing this and I thought, hell why not try it myself, what's the worst that could happen? I've already been rejected a zillion times last week, so what's another attempt, eh? hehe.

So here I am sitting after another grueling day at the hospital. Unforunately for me, there wasn't all that many people in need of x-rays. Good or bad, I don't know. It started pretty day and eventually picked up, but not a great day. Kind of sucks to just sit there and wait but I'll deal, I'm halfway done *happy dance* then I finally get a summer break *another happy dance*. Sweet!

Let's see what else I feel like saying. Enjoying my life as a single child, though I haven't started remodeling my brother's room yet, I'll get there eventually *evil grin*. Poor guy, won't know what hit him. But do I sound like feel bad about that.... nope! *evil cackle*

Ok I think that's all I'm going to say now. Off to cause havoc. Later!